Manila Vanilla

What it's like to be a U.S. Fulbright scholar, basketball player, journalist, and the whitest man in Metro Manila.

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Location: Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

New Yorker by birth, shipped across the globe to the world of malls, shanty-towns, patronage, corruption, basketball and a curious burnt-toast smell that wafts around at dusk

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Basketball and Pacman

I've got a long post that's been in the works for weeks now, and it will remain that way. It's hard to think about anything other than Manny Pacquiao today; that's the way it is in the Philippines every time he fights. This time, he made mincemeat of the extremely tough but fatally slow David Diaz in what was one of the most boring action-packed fights I've ever seen; there was no drama whatsoever because Pacquiao was never in any danger. It reminded me of the tattooing Arturo Gatti suffered at the hands of Floyd Mayweather a few years ago.

Every round Pacman seemed to land a dozen haymakers that should have knocked Diaz down, if not out, yet the big-boned Diaz just kept absorbing shots, even as his trunks changed colors from shiny white, to rose pink and, by the end, a deep burgundy from all the blood dripping down from his face. Moments before Diaz went down in a heap near the end of the ninth round, it started to look like Pacquiao was slowing down a touch, and that Diaz might be able to stage some kind of rally, like a real life victory by way of Homer Simpson disease. (In an episode of The Simpsons, Homer discovers he has a unique condition that allows him to absorb countless blows to the head, then enjoys a short but successful boxing career by allowing opponents to slug him in the head until they're so tired he can just push them over.) The fight also reminded me of the early rounds of a Rocky fight, the ones in which Stallone stands there and gets hammered while Adrian and Mick cringe and Pauly prepares to throw in the towel, until he miraculously summons the strength to knock out Apollo, Drago or Clubber Lang. After some of those rounds, I imagined Pacquiao sitting in his corner, exasperated, and exclaiming, "Pare! Hindi siya tao! Para siyang bakal!" (A reprise of Drago's famous line: "He's not human. He's like a piece of iron.") Alas, Diaz was neither Rocky Balboa nor Homer Simpson, and he took one of those rare beatings in a big-money fight that made you question if it was worth the $850,000 payday.

So that was the fight. I'm probably not going to add a ton of boxing insight that readers can't find elsewhere. So let me bring the discussion back to basketball. Since I moved to the Philippines, I've witnessed Pacquiao evincing the same passion for hoops that most Filipino men share, except that he has so much money and fame that his passion manifests itself in some particularly interesting and entertaining ways. Shortly after he pummeled Erik Morales in their second bout in the beginning of 2006, Pacquiao was the guest of honor at the Araneta Coliseum during game one of the PBA Fiesta Conference Finals. He showed up at halftime dressed in jack-o-lantern orange and badly missed a couple free throws. Then, after subsequent victories against Oscar Larios and Morales again, I noticed that news stories about his return to the Philippines and General Santos City, his hometown, usually showed clips of him eagerly getting back on the basketball court, playing on concrete floors in inter-barangay leagues. Then, in 2007 he became owner of his own team in the now-defunct National Basketball Conference, the MP Warriors of General Santos City. It's probable that Pacquiao formed the team not only because he loves the game, but also because he saw the basketball team as a way to curry favor with voters before his run for Congress in May 2007.

Today, Pacman added a few new footnotes to the story about his basketball connections. Several times during the fight, GMA's announcers Chino Trinidad and Quinito Henson mentioned that Manny's unbelievable stamina and energy, which allowed him to land hundreds of sledgehammer blows over the course of nine rounds, was due to a training regimen that included, among other things, daily basketball games, sometimes four each day. I doubt this really had much to do with his conditioning as a boxer, but I was still interested to learn that basketball remained a part of Pacquiao's routine throughout much of his training.



After the fight, after the ringside interviews with Pacquiao, Diaz and Bob Arum, who promotes both fighters, GMA covered a great moment in the locker room when Pacquiao posed for pictures with recently-crowned NBA champions Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Sam Cassell and Rajon Rondo. While Cassell, whose impending retirement could be followed by another great career as a hype man (Spliff Sam, anyone?), chanted "Pac-Man! Pac-Man!" and Pierce flexed a bicep, Garnett and Pacquiao had a vaudevillian tête-à-tête where Garnett, who is only a couple inches short of being a full two feet taller than Pacquiao, played the ventriloquist and Manny was the doll, and neither could understand the other. Garnett leaned down and said something into Pacquiao's ear, and the champ responded by nodding and beaming vacantly into space. A moment later, he said something to Garnett, and the same look of happy, complete bafflement washed over KG's face. Sportscaster Chino Trinidad stepped in to smooth the lines of communication by telling Garnett that this is the first time Pacquiao was starstruck enough to ask to have his picture taken with another celebrity. Garnett told Chino, "Well I'm his number one fan." Then Trinidad asked Pacquiao in Tagalog if the moment was like a dream, and Pacquiao yelled, "Yeah, yeah! My dream is come true!" Of course, he wasn't talking about joining and elite class of boxers who won belts in five separate weight classes. He was talking about standing with his arms around the NBA's former MVP, Garnett; its current Finals MVP, Pierce; and its one and only E.T., Cassell.

Addendum: Low and behold, big-time local sports columnist Quinito Henson, who was covering the Pacquiao fight as an analyst for the GMA network, devoted most of his write-up of the event to the dressing room encounter with the Celtics. Read it here, and do it fast because Philippine Star links tend to go dead fast.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Air Tsi-nelas!

Anyone who's read more than a few posts on this blog or who has seen guys playing basketball at a covered court or street corner in Manila or just about anywhere in the Philippines will know that many, many Filipinos -- I'm tempted to say a majority -- play pick-up ball in flip-flops, which around here are called tsinelas and pronounced "chee-né-las." I could probably fill a few reams of looseleaf with a list of things I admire about the Philippine brand of basketball, but players' abilities to sprint, leap, slide and stop on a dime with nothing but a rubber pancake between their feet and the ground is simply awe-inspiring. I try to imitate the sidestep and other classic Pinoy one-on-one moves, although like most Americans, I will always think it's a traveling violation, but I would never dream of stepping onto a cement court in my tsinelas and shouting "Sige na nga! Game na!" I would be the first person in history to play in tsinelas and a couple of 10-pound ankle braces. Maybe it's a fear thing. Sometimes, when I watch guys jump stop and slide in the paint like tennis players on a clay court, I get a feeling of nervous anticipation like I'm about to witness a gore-soaked highway collision. Kinakabahan ako, I believe, is one way to say it in Tagalog -- "It's giving me palpitations." Yet the tsinelas-clad warriors play on with no fear, and it's usually me, the guy wearing ankle armor and downmarket version of Nike Shox, who hobbles off with a minor sprain.

Playing in flip-flops is an iconic symbol of Philippine basketball, so much so that it has been immortalized in song. My friend Ryan put me on to this rap song by a group called Legit Misfits, "Air Tsinelas."



There were no lyrics for the song online, so I transcribed these myself, then had Ryan fill in a few blanks that I couldn't make out by ear. Thanks, Ryan! Without further ado: "Air Tsinelas"

First Verse

Air Tsi-nelas!
De-hins nadudulas like Jolas
Gamit panlaro pag kami'y dumayo
Siguradong iiskor, kalye man o gym floor
I sting like Relosa, kung sumabog like Loyzaga
Tirang Fabiosa laro pang Cuneta
Like Patrimonio we got the skills
Tulad ni Gonalgo we get the steals
Bakas! Bakas! Pag napapalakas madali ang pustahan
Napapaharas. Back up! Back up! Pare, atras
Sa sobrang lakas ng my tsinelas.

Chorus

Patas sa Adidas, ang aming tsinelas
Patas sa Puma, ang aming tsinelas
Patas sa Nike, ang aming tsinelas
Cause our air tsinelas, hindi nadudulas

Beachwalk ang tatak ng aking tsinelas
Spartan ang tatak ng aking tsinelas
Ito ang tatak ng aming tsinelas
Cause our air tsinelas, hindi nadudulas

Basketball, Basketball
Wearing our tsinelas we're standing tall
Subok sa tibay, subok sa lakas
Ang aming tsinelas, hindi nadudulas

2nd verse

Pass it here, pass it here, I'm in the clear
Here I come, here I go, the rookie of the year
Blastin' past your ass like Benjie Paras
'Cause like Jaworski I'm built to last
Excite like Alvarez, Meneses or Limpot
Triggerman like Caidic pag tsinelas ang susuot
Strong like Cardel, tough like Shell
Rebound, rebound, grab it like a habit
Like Nelson Asaytono, destroying like Distrito
Going coast to coast like Pido Jarencio
Going above the rim, like Samboy Lim
Tabi lang pare ko kung ayaw mong tumikim

Chorus

3rd verse

Pass the ball, pass the ball, yes yes y'all
I'm wearing my tsinelas pag ako'y naglalaro
I'm doing elegant shots like El Presidente
Ume-ere pa ako parang Freddie Hubalde
Strong like the Beermen, slams like Villamin
Here comes Manoy the Bicolano Superman
Shooting threes with ease, I can feel the breeze
As I hit the spot, (Here's Nash with a shot)
Swish...
Alley-oop, Alley-oop, I'm taking it to the hoop
Stomping my tsinelas with the Misfits group
So forget the Ewings, Shaqs or the Jordans
Sa aking tsinelas, you know I'm soaring

Chorus

Talo ang lahat sa aming tsinelas
Talo ang lahat sa aming tsinelas
Talo ang lahat sa aming tsinelas
'Cause our air tsinelas, hindi nadudulas

And now, my unofficial English translation:

Air Tsi-nelas!
Never slipping like Jolas
Using them to play when we go to other courts to challenge teams
Definitely gonna score, on the street or on the gym floor
I sting like Relosa, on fire like Loyzaga
Fabiosa-shooter playing in Cuneta
Like Patrimonio we got the skills
Like Gonzalgo we get the steals
Stamping footprints, when we're strong the bet is easy
Harassing you. back up! Back up! Dude, back up
From the awesome strength of my tsinelas

Equal to Adidas, there's our tsinelas,
Equal to Puma, there's our tsinelas,
Equal to Nike, there's our tsinelas,
Cause our air tsinelas never slip
Beachwalk's the brand of my tsinelas
Spartan's the brand of my tsinelas
Here's the brand of our tsinelas
Cause our air tsinelas never slip

Basketball, basketball, wearing our tsinelas we're standing tall
Tried and proven stamina, tried and proven strength, our air tsinelas never slip

Pass it here, pass it here, I'm in the clear
Here I come, here I go, the rookie of the year
Blastin' past your ass like Benjie Paras
'Cause like Jaworski I'm built to last
Excite like Alvarez, Meneses or Limpot
Triggerman like Caidic when I'm wearing tsinelas
Strong like Cardel, tough like Shell
Rebound, rebound, grab it like a habit
Like Nelson Asaytono, destroying like Distrito
Going coast to coast like Pido Jarencio
Going above the rim, like Samboy Lim
Step aside bro if you don't want to try me

Pass the ball, pass the ball, yes yes y'all
I'm wearing my tsinelas when I'm playing
I'm doing elegant shots like El Presidente
Still hanging in the air like I'm Freddie Hubalde
Strong like the Beermen, slams like Villamin
Here comes Manoy the Bicolano Superman
Shooting threes with ease, I can feel the breeze
As I hit the spot, (Here's Nash with a shot)
Swish...
Alley-oop, Alley-oop, I'm taking it to the hoop
Stomping my tsinelas with the Misfits group
So forget the Ewings, Shaqs or the Jordans
In my tsinelas, you know I'm soaring

There you have it. I'm a little worn out from that, so I'm going to cut my analysis short, but I like the way the song gives a roll call of PBA greats. It's a Philippine answer to Kurtis Blow's "Basketball," which is also kind of corny but extremely lovable. I was thrilled to hear Jojo "Jolas" Lastimosa -- who may be Manila's biggest Obama booster -- get the first shout out in the song. Another former Alaska Milkman, Bong "Mr. Excitement" Alvarez, is notable for his athleticism and for getting traded shortly after he was shot in the butt outside a massage parlor. El Presidente is Ramon Fernandez, sort of like the PBA's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, a big man who was around forever and leads most of the career scoring categories. He even had the elegant shot, a patented running one-hander that has a name and reputation like the Sky Hook.

There's plenty more to say, but I'll let the Web community add more stories about guys like Rudy Distrito, Samboy Lim, Allan Caidic, et. al. Oh, I can't resist one Samboy Lim story. He's about 6'2'' and was known as the Skywalker. A month ago a beachfront restaurant owner in Palawan cornered me and spent an hour and a half regaling me with Samboy stories. He claimed to still have a poster of Lim dunking over Sam Perkins in the 1985 Jones Cup in his mother's house in Manila. Readers, please feel free to add stories about any of these players, playing in tsinelas or just to clean up my translation!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Academy ... err, Society has Spoken


Move over Oscar! The Society of Professional Journalists, Western Washington Chapter has honored me with an award for writing the 2nd-best sports story in an Alternative Newsweekly in 2007. That's an awful lot of qualifiers, but it's still a great thrill to be recognized. You can still read the story, about import Rosell Ellis' season with the PBA's Alaska Aces, here.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Archival Footage!

The die-hard Manila Vanilla fans will no doubt be disappointed by this clip, which -- unlike my fabled turn in GMA 7's Bakekang -- features neither my hairy chest nor my attempts at acting. However, I managed to appear somewhat composed and intelligent for 10 minutes with local sportscasters Bill Velasco, Boyet Sison and Jinno Rufino, whose quickfire repartée can feel a little intimidating to an intruder/guest like myself. Our subject is -- what else? -- Ateneo/La Salle. I got more mileage from writing about that rivalry than any other subject in Philippine basketball, and while it is a rich and interesting story that reveals a lot about Manila society, I don't know if it deserves its preeminence over the rest of the basketball world. I know why the Green Archer/Blue Eagle rivalry gets top billing, however. The same elite alumni who pack the Araneta Coliseum each time the teams meet are the people who have the disposable income to buy Ateneo/La Salle gear, the people who drove my NY Times story to #2 on the sports page's most-E-mailed rankings and the people who control local media outlets that analyze the rivalry ad nausea.

So, without further ado, enjoy the video.



One final note on accents: My American readers, especially those who know me personally, might wonder why I'm talking with a put-on Filipino-English accent. I'm not exactly sure why. All I can say is that foreigners who end up staying here for long periods of time end up using the local English accent and some of its irregular idioms like "open the light," "go down from the bus," and "craving for rice." It just feels natural to respond to people in the same manner they talk to you. It's easy to look at this from another angle, however, and say that my adoptive accent is an ugly example of pandering racism. I would never walk into a Chinese restaurant in New York, for example, and say, 'Herrow my fwend! I would rike sum poak flied lice!" Of course, Chinese-Americans and Chinese immigrants living in America don't speak like that anyway, but I wouldn't use any voice other than my own while ordering at Hunan Pan. Yet that's exactly what I do here.

Here is the difference, as I see it, between the Chinese restaurant example and my experience in the Philippines, are these: First, the Philippines has a stronger claim on English than many other nations outside of the United States and United Kingdom. Of course, it is the same gnarled claim that other former colonies have, in which native cultures and languages have ceded ground to English, which has become lingua franca and in the Philippines' case, a second national language. The colonial experience was ugly and too complicated to unravel in this short post. Regarding the language/accent issue, I believe I'm not pandering to Filipinos' accents, but speaking a Philippine variant of English that may sound odd to American ears the same way American English sounds crude to the boys at Eton.