Calling all wackos. We're looking for senators.

I'm sure oppposition senatorial candidate Antonio Trillanes, a Navy lieutenant who's been stuck in prison for years for his involvement in a 2003 coup attempt, was thrilled that the first four paragraphs of a story that should have been about his candidacy were instead devoted to Victor Santos, a colorful nobody who seems like he filed his election papers for the heck of it.

“If I am elected, I will change the name of the country to ‘The Greatest Land’ and you [the Filipinos] will be called ‘The Greatest People’ as a symbol of your freedom,” Santos told reporters. The stated reason for these changes is that Filipinos will be under Spain's yoke as long as they and their country are named after Spanish king Philip II. The ridiculous passports would be a plus, too.

The founder of ULTIMATE democracy!

Then, to make sure he'd be portrayed in the media as a total quack, Santos announced his platform would be "ultimate democracy," which he declined to explain. Instead, he would personify the concept after winning a seat in the Senate.

I don't blame the Philippine Daily Inquirer's Jerome Aning for leading his story with Santos' antics. Trillanes is pretty boring and clearly delusional. His campaign war room, I mean prison cell, will serve as the nerve center for a nationwide web of Trillanes' family and friends, who will text their friends and tell them to vote for Trillanes. Brilliant!

Trillanes, apparently unaware of the nature of Philippine governance, said he was running for senator because it is "the only way through which I can continue battling corruption and fight for the common welfare.” Uhh, is it opposite day? I got the impression most senators considered it their duty to spread corruption and ignore the common welfare.